Word of the Year: Why I Don’t Care & Neither Should You
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As the page turns to a brand new year, we all start to hear about your “word of the year”. It’s everywhere. The media. Social Media. There is even a hashtag to follow #WOTY.
And just in case you’re not able to pick your own word for your new year, just google it and someone will be happy to pick a word for you.
Websters Dictionary has one picked out for you.
Or you can play a game to determine your word of the year
What is your word going to be? So many people ponder and hope to pick the right word that will define their year.
All of the “Word of the Year” stuff is nice, really.
I actually do think there’s some good to it. It helps people focus and zero in on what they want their year to look like. I actually think it helps people slow down and actually think before a new year starts.
Thinking is good. Slowing down is good. Getting quiet, alone, is even better.
Taking the time to visualize your future is an incredibly powerful and positive thing. I highly recommend it.
Stay tuned to the end for the BEST way to pick your word of the year.
These are all really, really good things. Slowing down and even stopping to assess, analyze, and envision what you want your upcoming year to look like.
YES… these are all good.
However, many people fear that if they pick the wrong word it will negatively impact their year.
Is really picking the right or wrong “word of the year” going to define your entire year?
Okay, fine I decided I was going to take time to work on this.
At the start of 2020, I not only knew it was a brand new year, but also a brand new decade. This was a big deal.
So I thought long and hard about what I wanted my “word” to be.
After much thought and contemplation… all that came to mind to define what my expectation is for 2020 are the words…
“I don’t care”
Not that I don’t care about picking a word for the year (maybe that’s part of it), but that I am literally choosing not to care.
About what?
Simply put, about what other people think, do and say.
That’s it. I’ve made the decision that 2020 is my year of not caring what other people think, do, and say.
My Word of the Year: I don’t care.
Yes, I’m aware it’s more than one word… but stick with me here.
Isn’t it amazing what can happen when you spend some quiet time focusing on one thought? You are being purposeful with your time to answer a question or accomplish a goal. It’s a beautiful thing.
A Grown Woman
I am embarrassed to admit even I, a grown woman, mother of 4, in her mid-40’s, had still struggled with the possible opinion of others making me think twice of doing what it is I want to do.
Until now.
This topic truly is more for me than anyone else, but I’m publishing it because maybe there’s someone else out there that struggles with being liked, accepted, included… and definitely not DIFFERENT.
If that is you, my sweet friend, can I tell you something?
What I have found in all my years of struggling and researching this topic is… most people don’t care either.
In the famous words of Coco Chanel:
“I don’t care what you think about me,
I don’t think about you at all.”
Coco Chanel
Did you know that they honestly are not even thinking about anyone else but themselves?
We are all human. That’s how we are wired.
Self-centered, self-focused, self-serving.
Did you know that we, as humans, have to intentionally work to become other-centered, other-focused, and other-serving? That is done intentionally… and that takes work.
Looking back at my 40+ years, it’s actually infuriating to think how much fear I’ve had and how much I’ve held myself back because of… what other people may “think” about that.
WHY do we get so wrapped up in what other people think or, in reality, what they actually “may be” thinking?
Isn’t that crazy?
We find ourselves not doing the thing that we want to do or pursuing things we want to pursue or chasing dreams we want to chase all because of what other people think about that… or mostly in reality… what they “might” think of that.
Again, in most cases, they’re not thinking about you or me or what we are up to at all. They may hear about something you said or have done, give it a quick thought or opinion, and they are on to THEIR next thing.
And can we get real for a sec? What if they really are thinking about you and are focused on what you are or are not doing…
Does it REALLY matter what they think?
I mean really. Honestly. Does. it. matter?
TO THE MOON!!
What if you decided you were going to become an astronaut and wanted to head to the moon? It’s been a passion of yours since you were a kid.
It’s what you’ve dreamed of day and night about.
Get your “head out of the clouds” has been told to you more times than you can count.
You reached a point where the tug in your heart was so great that you secretly applied to School, got accepted, now you’re going to start your education and training.
It’s probably time to tell people you’re going to be gone for a while.
So you get your best promotional hat on and excitedly tell your mom, your family, friends, and post it on social… that you’re going to the MOON!!
After all that you’ve done to this point… all the dreaming, visualizing, research, and conversations, are you honestly going to let some random person or even your mother, give you their opinion and expertise in that area (which I’m assuming is none) on why you SHOULDN’T go to the moon?
The sad truth is, that’s usually what happens.
When we are kids we are told we can be and do anything. But then something happens when we become adults. Things change.
We are suddenly questioned when we dream, act and talk big. We are shot down with the “who do you think you are?” “You can’t do that!” or the best one… “that’s impossible”.
For the rest of your life whenever you hear the word “impossible” I want you to immediately say to yourself :
“I’m Possible”
Don’t listen to them. If they are not credible sources in the area of which you’re looking into… then DO NOT LISTEN!
Please read this article on why it is incredibly important to pay attention to WHO you are listening to and how to determine that.
A book that set me free from the opinion of others, rejection, and loneliness is:
And let’s not forget the other pieces of the “I don’t care” theme. Not only do we not care what other people think, but also of what they say and/or do*.
Oh yes, friend, this is a whole other level.
But it’s just a choice… it’s for you to choose not to care.
Please know there are only 2 things you can control…
- Your Actions
- Your Attitude
No one else’s.
So you must choose how you act and respond when someone does something or says something that you may not agree with or be happy about.
You cannot change them. Don’t try.
It’s not worth the time, struggle, and heartache.
You do you.
I cannot tell you how many times already this year that I have chosen to say “I don’t care” when it comes to what others have said and done. And it’s only February.
Focus on becoming the best YOU that you can be.
Let everything else roll and slide off of you. Don’t worry about it.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff,
it’s all small stuff.”
Robert Eliot
*If you are dealing with any sort of physical, emotional, or any kind of abuse, please please, please, know that is NOT the time to let it slide or let it go. You MUST get help. Never be afraid to talk to someone who can help you. Be sure they are in fact someone who can help you. You were made to do something great – don’t ever let anyone ever tell you differently. You are a child of God – He loves you, don’t ever let anyone do anything to do you that makes you feel less than that.
Life is so short, my dear friend, don’t waste another moment of the greatness that was put inside of you worrying about what other people “might” think about you, do to you, or say to you.
Now that we’re over what other people “may” think of you and what you want to do this year or this lifetime… now what?
First, cue the Happy Dance!
Now, it’s time to GO with your gut!
How? I have it all laid out for you here!
So to wrap this up, sweet friend, I think having a word of the year is good. I do.
Really only because of the work, you have to do internally, emotionally, and mentally, to receive that word.
That is all very good.
Want to know the easiest way to choose your word of the year?
Imagine it’s New Year’s Eve, December 31st, 2020.
You’re walking into a party… what is your life like at that point?
- Did you lose that weight?
- Quit drinking or smoking?
- Are you physically fit?
- Do you have money in the bank?
- Did you buy that new car, house, boat you’ve been dreaming of?
- Have that new dream job?
- Earned a new certificate, training, or degree?
- Did you start that business?
- Get those eyes, teeth or hair done?
- Attend that life-enhancing conference?
- Donate to that charity or ministry?
- Complete that race or competition?
What difference did you make in your life in the year 2020?
Does December 31st look any different than January 1st?
What ONE thing do you want to accomplish this year?
That is how you choose your word.
Then engineer it backward with who, when, and how.
I’ll get into effective goal setting and hitting in another post.
Again, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to choose the right word, put the pressure on yourself to set yourself free this year to chase after whatever it is you want!
Set yourself free from the thoughts, opinions, actions, and words of others.
December 31st, 2020 is only going to look the way you want it to when you free yourself and clarify what it is you want, then flat out getting after it. Period.
I’m cheering for you, dear friend!
What is the one thing you want to accomplish this year? Tell me below, I’d love to hear it.
Has this post helped you as you tackle this brand new year? Let me know!
xoxo,
Mo
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